As a Lewis Carroll fan, I wold like to honor his memory by stealing some of his poetry and turning it into something new. For those critics who would like to slam me for attempting this, let me tell you, son . . . um, tell me just say that this is not plagiarism, it is art in its highest form. (If you don’t believe me, try creating something after living in isolation with no media for six months.)
Tweedledum and Tweedledee/Beedlebum and Beedlebee
Beedlebum and Beedlebee
Agreed to eat a grackle;
For Beedlebum said Beedlebee
Had boiled his fishing tackle.
It meant no fish for dinner, sigh,
No crispy fishy fingers;
Which frightened both the heroes so,
They quite forgot their choral.
Humpty Dumpty/Grumpy Lumpy
Grumpy Lumpy sat on a ball,
Grumpy Lumpy had a great bawl.
All the main courses and all the cayenne
Couldn’t put Grumpy in touch with her zen.
The Walrus and the Carpenter/The Sausage and the Window Cleaner
“The dime has come,” the Sausage said,
“To spend on many things:
On spuds—and eggs—and pancake stacks—
On maple syrup—and things—
And when the bacon’s boiling hot—
And when the kettle sings.”
The Jabberwocky poem is already strange enough.
Reading back on this set of spectacular verse, I discover I have food on the brain. To read more of Carroll’s poems (and to see the originals I maimed) while you munch on your sausages and mash, click here.