SEO for Virgins

By January 21, 2012Business advice

Yes, for virgins.


Because I can. ~ Bill Clinton

This will be the most basic self-help post on SEO (search engine optimization) you will ever read, and it is only for the completely ignorant — those willing to step their right foot into a mosh pit of marketing words the elite throw around like bad breath every day.

1. SEO is what you do to the words on your website so that search engines will find you and dazzle the online world (on page 1 of Google) with your awesomeness. Well … that’s a bit of a stretch. Let’s just say they will know you exist for a change.

2. Search engines look for words on your site that people search for on a regular basis. These are called keywords. Put those keywords into your site and you’ll be found. It’s not really that simple though.

3. It’s not simple because perhaps you’re a plant nursery and you sell everything that grows and the tools to grow it all with. You can’t just put out keywords that are general, you want to show that you have every single individual item a gardener might want. Enter the article/blog post.

4. Articles or blog posts have benefits a static Web page does not. You can put a keyword in your title, in your post a few times, into your exerpt about the post. Repetition is good for a change. Think of it like a nagging wife — if she asks often enough, you will eventually do what she wants. With search engines, if you mention your keyword often enough, search engines will recognize that you have something to say about your keyword.

If Maggie May wants some tips on how to grow purple flowers in her window box and you deliberately put the keywords purple flowers, window box and grow into your blog post, because no one else will the chances are that Maggie will find you when she searches for you through a search engine.

For example:

Grow Purple Flowers in Your Window Box at The Flower Pot
Purple flowers in your window box are all the rage at the The Flower Pot this week. Indigo, violet, concord grape, dark orchid, purple rain, purple rain … Prince … We love to grow purple flowers in our window box. Purple flowers that grow in a window box make us think of the color purple.

You get the idea (how not to add keywords).

5. Another way search engines find you (and your purple flowers) is if you can add some links to other people’s articles or blog posts that have the same keywords. Hopefully they will return the favor and link back to you, unless they are like Mashable or Copyblogger or Amazon, who couldn’t care less about you and Prince’s flowers growing in his window box.

6. Decide what your main offering is. If it’s plants and tools, then use this handy-dandy keyword tool like this one to find out what words people mostly enter when searching for plants and gardening tools. Once you find the popular keywords, add them into your content on each page. Then slowly but surely build up your blog posts and/or articles.

So there you have it — some very, very basic knowledge of what SEO is and how to put it in place. I declare you now joined to marketing blurb forever and your virginity over with. You will either act respectably or turn into another marketing slut. God help us all.


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